Miss Buck

Now if my memories serves me correctly , and believe me it does as and
when i need it to, I can think back to a certain dinner lady who
ruled The Peters ham Russell Infants School with a wooden spoon of cast
iron , (well perhaps not ,but solid wood at least).Though She never
actually hit the school kids with the spoon , she would send us to
the headmistress for a good talking too , however i did hear her once
brag about how she use to break wooden spoon on her own kids (and a
nice lady she was).. The Question is, why is that dinner ladies were
always dragons when i was at school. Out of all the dinner ladies in
my whole dyslexic career at school only one was ever actually nice
looking and actually had a personality and that was a lady called
Miss Human and by god didn’t we give her some lip, she loved it.
But that was in my junior school and once again imp going off the
story because Junior School is a different ball game altogether.
So here we go back to Miss Buck.
Miss buck was a massive lady who must have put the fear of god into
staff and children alike. From what I remember of her she looked the
spitting image of Biffa Bacons Mother in the comic Via (Ill try and
do a scan for those people who don’t know what imp talking about).
Although she was a horror we must bear in mind that looks aunt
everything and when you’re lying over someone’s knee and looking at the
carpet it looks don’t really come into the equation.
Miss Buck seemed to have a soft spot for me (That sounds Dodgy, if
nothing else) it probably had something to do with the fact my long
suffering mother worked at the school.
One day my mother and I were taking my new dog Susie to the vets to
be spade (as you do) and somehow or other Miss Buck was in the car
with us (God Knows why but there you go). So here we all are driving
along merrily in the car (except for Susie of course, she
was just about to have her sexual organs removed) and it was decided
that as my mother had things to do that afternoon I should spend the
afternoon with Miss Buck and her 3 kids, little martin who was a
year older than me, Nigel who was about 14 and the older one who I
cant remember his name probably because he wasn’t very interesting.
On my arrival at the house I must have scanned the place for slippers
(as most normal 7 year olds would do, ha) and guess what was
in the hall way??

So there we all are in the living room watching some boring black and
white afternoon film on the TV. Martin is playing with his action
man, Nigel is reading Jackie, and the oldest one has gone of to the
pictures. I am sitting on the sofa right nest to Miss buck.
Somehow on reflection I don’t know how I ever managed to do the things
I did, but I must have sussed very early.
From my memory it could have gone anyway, but I think the suggestion
was made that I would be her son for the afternoon, and if I were
naughty I would be spanked with her floral slippers.
SO SPANKING NUMBER ONE AFTER THE SUGGESTION HAD BEEN MADE
straight over her more than ample lap to have the seats of my
trousers tanned.
WWWHHHHAAAP! WWWHHHAAAP! WHHHAPP! The rubber sole starts to make
contact and I think I remember she was being quite jolly whilst she
spanked me.
Martin and Nigel seemed to not be taking much notice because as I
have said before I think they were use to it.
It seemed that I spent most of the afternoon over this ladies lap. At
one point I remember the conversation turning to would I like to come
here every day for a week and have my bottom tanned to which I recall
replying yes. I vividly remember her putting me over her lap
continuously and slapping me, in a jokingly fashion. Later on that
day I was smacked again for not picking up the Lego (I THINK THAT WAS
THE START OF A LIFE OF CRIME, BUT I CANT BE SURE).
I think Miss Buck did tire later on and she told me that if I
mentioned spanking again she would do it for real. I thought for a
split second and declined her offer as I imagine she could whack
hard, she was like a rolling pin mother.
So the day finished and the memories lived on.